Braden Graham recalls gathering his three children — Ben, George and Mallory — for a family meeting, the kind they usually held to coordinate schedules, share school updates or simply catch up on the latest happenings.
This time, though, something was different. His wife, Alison, wasn’t there, taking time to process a devastating medical diagnosis that he now had to share with their kids. Braden was scrambling for the best approach, looking for the right words to help the children understand just how their lives were about to change.
In the end, he kept it simple: Mom is sick. She has breast cancer. After hearing the news, George, 7 at the time, had one question for his dad: “Is mom going to die?”
The Grahams look back on that story with awkward laughter and teary eyes. The harrowing tale is easy to recount thanks to Alison’s presence. She is now cancer-free.
“We’re the lucky ones,” Braden said. “We get to celebrate anniversaries and tell these stories, even if they’re hard to tell and make us emotional.”
Storytelling is an everyday custom for Braden. For more than five years, he was vice president of live events at Bluewater Technologies Group, helping organize unique events and experiences for various clients, including providing logistical and technical support for VAl’s signature events. Working with the Institute was special, Braden said, because it helped connect research and the community, bringing people together for a shared cause. It’s also a cause Bluewater believes in – the organization received the Carol Van Andel Angel of Excellence Award in 2022 for their exceptional commitment to the Institute, and recently joined the VAl Founders Society in recognition of more than $1 million given in support of the Institute.
Seeing Bluewater and other organizations support VAl inspires Alison, who relied on biomedical research as a source of information throughout her journey with cancer.
“I’m not typically someone who follows the latest news in medicine, but learning more about cancer research, treatment developments and new drugs made everything easier to understand,” she said.
It was like homework for her: Learning about various kinds of treatment options, the newest drugs on the market and the various surgeries available. The family followed the recommendations of medical professionals, but seeing the knowledge — and the progress that research unlocked — brought calm.
“Once we had all the information, then I could relax,” Alison said. “We met with the best doctors, and we dove into the research — then I just had to focus on getting through it and getting better.”
Healing involved challenging treatment sessions. Even with the confidence of copious research notes and a top-notch medical team, no one can know exactly how theyll respond to treatment. For Alison, it often led to three, four or five days of mandatory rest.
Mallory, 5 at the time, recalls those days through tears.
“I just remember my mom being really sick, in a way none of us had seen before, and it was just really, really hard,” she said.
During those challenging times, the family leaned on one another to get through. It felt like a whirlwind, as things would swing back to normal in between treatment sessions: Alison would attend Ben and George’s hockey games, the family would go out for food, and they even planned a “Frozen” themed birthday party for Mallory.
“We wanted to enjoy being together and do our regular things as much as we could,” George said. “I don’t think anyone ever ‘forgot’ mom was sick, but there were times when we could just focus on family.”
The Grahams received additional support from their extended family and friends. For the first few weeks after the diagnosis, Braden said, the family didn’t even need to worry about food — someone would always swing by to drop off some meals. Those gestures provided additional stability in particularly grueling weeks. And when things felt overwhelming, support would come from unexpected sources.
During one of the hardest weeks, Braden recalls, he felt exhausted. Alison was resting from treatment, and he had finally convinced Mallory and George to get into their beds. Suddenly, he heard a raucous commotion coming from downstairs.
“I think to myself, what on Earth is Ben, who was 9 at the time, doing now?” he recalled.
Braden rushed down the steps and into the kitchen, where Ben is standing at the sink, doing the dishes.
“I just thought you needed some help,” Braden recalled Ben saying.
Those acts of kindness were essential during treatment, Alison said, and it made her believe you have to come together as a family to get through a cancer diagnosis. Diving into research and learning from medical professionals gave her confidence in the physical healing process, but leaning on others was its own kind of medicine.
“We often portray cancer as this individual battle, but that’s just not how it works,” Alison said. “It takes a family, a group of friends, even a friendly neighbor to get through the physical, spiritual and mental healing that you have to do.”
As treatment progressed, the Grahams were able to slowly let go of an ever-present tension that had hung around since that first family meeting. While vigilance never goes away, Braden said, you start to see where you can celebrate victories along the way: Weekly appointments became monthly, then every three months, then every six months. But there’s always another appointment.
“Cancer impacted our family, and it’ll always be there — there are emotional scars, there are physical scars – but Alison is with us, and we can face those together,” Braden said.
2024 marked 10 years since Alison’s diagnosis, a landmark which deserved additional celebration. Ben and George played in a Hockey Fights Cancer fundraising game in support of VAl and in honor of their mother.
“We wanted to make it special, so we just did as much as we could,” Ben said. “Flowers, a special puck, a speech, and dad even set up all the cool lights and turned the rink purple.”
It was a full-circle moment for Braden and Alison, seeing their children working to support the kind of research that gave them hope.
Mallory is getting involved, too. She recently joined VAl’s Student Ambassador Program, where high school students can gain real-life experience as volunteers and event planners in the nonprofit world.
“It’s an opportunity to plan events, learn more about research and be part of that hope,” Mallory said.
For Alison, seeing her family take steps to support research that may help others offers a sense of tranquility.
“Whether it’s the signature events, Purple Community or the countless other initiatives in and around the area, people believe we can make things better,” she said. ‘The best part is that it’s happening right in our backyard, with breakthroughs that can help science all over the world, and I’m just proud to say my family played its own unique role in that story.”